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I know the value of writing about these things while they’re fresh and before we move onto new chapters. I did this in my blog posts about my ankle breaking experience — brain dumping every feeling, thought, experience, and insight. And that has helped a lot of people who have needed someone to validate their experience.

I hope this can be a useful bunch of words for those who are challenging their ideas of the American/western death industry and/or for those who are ready to do death differently.

The world gets ever louder and more chaotic, and the past 2 months I’ve carved out a tiny nest of peace for myself and my children. It turns out, it was more needed than I ever could have imagined.

Four days ago, my mother took her last labored breath.

I’ve been busy ever since, taking care of the business that is a requirement in our modern world of industrialized death rituals.

And also…

I’ve been softly sinking into the depths of the pool of eternity, unmoored in the abyss of the liminality between life and death.

I’m starting to suspect that at some point in the recent past I somehow sent out a signal to the Universe – “Hey, I’m tired of existing in this apathetic and frozen rut… send me something to shake me awake?”

Unexpectedly bringing my mother into my home (and with so much drama surrounding the situation) was a LOT. I thought I was bringing home a dying woman, and the death midwife inside of me was prepared and ready. I was ready to build the beautiful death nest, offer endless love and compassion as she walked across the rainbow bridge, preparing a cozy cocoon for us both to sink into as we journeyed together.

I haven’t written anything that I’ve felt like publishing the past couple of months or so. Why? Because my elderly mother suddenly took a turn for the worse and I brought her home with me to keep her safe, well-fed, and as comfortable as possible for an 84-year-old healing from a hip fracture.

It’s strange to exist in this time and place. On one hand, I am very passionate about women and the rights of mothers and their babies. I take a timeless stance with this passion, anchored in anthropology, evolution, animism, a deep respect for life and death, and cross-cultural pre-civilization perspectives.

I’ve wanted to share my own spiritual path for many years, but I was raised to not step on people’s toes or upset others. It’s taken me a lot of years to unwind these fears and realize that my voice and story matters, even if it makes others uncomfortable.