Did you know that the original human group pattern was most likely centered in small groups of related women of various ages with their babies and children?

We don’t have hard evidence for this (because ancient cultures don’t always leave enough evidence). But if you journey back throughout the hundreds of thousands (and even millions) of years, we see a pattern.

And that pattern begins with matriarchal cultures. Why? Because it was practical and fit with the default characteristics of human nature (which are different from other primates). Related women would guard and protect each other’s babies and children. They could trust each other.

You see, the one thing we DO have evidence for is that humans were originally non-violent (beyond protection instincts, of course). Yes, you read that right – we are inherently peaceful, despite the bleak picture we modern humans believe today. Go far enough back in the archaeological record and you discover women-centered cultures where cross-cultural violence and war just wasn’t a thing.

Now before you get all “burn the feminist” on me…hear me out.

Yes, matriarchal and women-centered cultures are the original human culture pattern.

Patriarchal cultures are a newer trend (in the context of evolution) and it’s pretty clear that they have harmed the world in ways that will ripple throughout the coming millennia. (And yes, there are many styles of patriarchal culture patterns – the common thread is varying levels of aggressive hypermasculine dominance.)

But matriarchy is NOT the opposite of patriarchy, as your favorite “feminists are ruining the world” influencer has been saying.

Matriarchy is an entirely different thing altogether.

It is land-based and stewardship-based.
It is intuitive.
It is observant.
It is non-violent.
It cares for humans AND all beings.
It finds a place for everyone.
It cares for women and children.
It places them in the center where the attention should be.
It does NOT take away anyone’s healthy masculinity.
It helps men channel their powerful testosterone in ways that feel good and are useful instead of destructive.
It stops men from harming and killing each other (because there isn’t a pecking order anymore).
It flattens the hierarchy because it’s no longer needed.
It turns all women into mothers, regardless of their reproductive status or ability.
It’s healthier for women because they feel safe.
It’s healthier for men because they feel safe.
It’s healthier for babies and children because everyone behaves as their protective parent – which makes them safer too.
It’s healthier for humans because it is prosocial and protective of our nervous systems.
This likely leads to healthier hormone levels, reducing chronic stress and chronic diseases.

It’s not a freaking utopia (this is nature we’re talking about). But it IS a place where people can actually thrive and feel deeply nourished. They can be seen for who they truly are.

It’s a place where men can exist in their zones of genius without being afraid of each other, or having to deal with toxic masculine hierarchies where a few dominant men win everything and less-dominant men (the majority) get very little.

In these cultures babies and children are guarded and protected fiercely by everyone, and their gentle needs cherished.

Matriarchal cultures center mothers and their attached babies always, as they are always and forever the most vulnerable members of any group.

In these cultures, women are not products or commodities to be owned, bought, trafficked, or rented (and in fact slavery of any kind is nonexistent). Women are honored as the creators of life, and therefore closest to the divine. They are seen for their ability to create AND for their intelligence, as these are inseparable.

Women are seen in their rightful place as the deeply wise, intuitive, and all-seeing beings that they are. The natural leaders of a culture that revolves around what is best for babies and children (as, at the end of the day, they are the only thing that really matters in life). 

Old women are cared for and honored for their mentorship and wisdom. Elderhood in general is honored as an integral part of a thriving culture (and an evolutionarily necessary part of a continuing culture). Elderhood is seen as a verb and not a noun.

(Quote reference)

Can we change the tide of civilization toward more mother-baby centered cultures again? Would this heal the fissures of a planet on track for destruction?

I’m going to keep exploring this topic as I dive deeper into what it means to rewild mothers and women (which, as a result, benefits everyone including boys and men).

As I don’t believe in black-and-white definitions of truth, I will always claim that this is my own ever-evolving truth. I share it because I feel it could significantly benefit our grossly out of balance global societies.

A salve to soothe our uprooted ancestral aches. A bridge to guide ourselves and our children toward a world where all beings get to thrive in peace.

Resources for Further Reading

• Why living in a matriarchal society is better for women's health – World Economic Forum

• Power and health: Research links gender roles to health risks among Mosuo women – Binghamton University

• The origins of sexism: How men came to rule 12,000 years ago – New Scientist

• Intro to Matriarchy by Heide Goettner-Abendroth

• Matriarchal Studies by Barbara Alice Mann and Heide Goettner-Abendroth

• About Heide Goettner-Abendroth’s Work

• Medicine in Matriarchal Societies – Societies of Peace

• Suppressed Histories Archives — Artifact gathering by Max Dashu since the 1970s

• The Evolutionary Logic of Human Peaceful Behavior by Douglas P. Fry

• The Original Partnership Societies: Evolved Propensities for Equality, Prosociality, and Peace by Douglas P. Fry and Geneviève Souillac

If you’d like to explore how to create a more matriarchal-centered home, family, and community, let’s discuss your challenges and ideas in a session together. Book a 1:1 session with me here.